A funny thing happened on the way home
by Jess-Cast1800
Summary: Jenny had hoped to enjoy her summer vacation after parents left her in charge for the summer. What could go wrong? Apparently everything can go wrong, especially now that she's stuck nursing a fictional character, a certain God of Lies, back to health. AND she needs to find a way to get him back to his own world and... WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHIELD IS REAL? Not Loki/OC. Promise.
1. Tornadoes? In this part of Texas?

**So I rewrote the previous chapters because I stayed up late reading fanfics and thinking about my own stories. This is the result. A revamping of what I have already written.**

**I do not own anything that belongs to the Marvel Universe. I only own Jenny and any other OCs that appear.**

…

His lips stung as small droplets of blood trickled down his chin, but he didn't care. There was only one thought in his mind and that was to leave. It was suffocating to be in Asgard. He didn't care where he went. Midgard, Vanaheim, even Jothunheim seemed much better than Asgard. His lungs cried out for more oxygen, oxygen that could no longer enter through his lips. He stopped to regain his breath. His knees shook, unable to hold his weight from lack of nutrition. Thor had tried. Oh how that oaf tried to feed him through the small openings of the string. It only aggravated his wounds. His magic had grown weaker; no doubt it was Odin's doing. Starve the traitor and leave him enough magic to survive a while longer.

Loki brought a shaking hand to his lips and wiped away the blood before continuing on his way. A guard jeered at him asking him where he was going in such a hurry. The trickster did his best to ignore him. Three months ago Thor would have bashed the man's head in for such a comment, but Thor was not here. His idiotic not brother was in another realm. His not brother promised to return soon and bring with him a gift for Loki. It would all be in vain.

Thor would be heartbroken.

This small realization caused him to falter in his running. Yes, Thor would be heartbroken and grief-stricken. Loki continued to run. He had wanted to go with Thor rather than stay in the castle where he would be humiliated. At least Thor did not shout abuse and insults when he passed him. Odin had forbidden it. Loki remembered his not brother's blue eyes fill with sadness at the decree. Thor had promised to bring something for Loki when he returned even though both knew they were already adults. It was a nice sentiment on Thor's part.

He had reached the observatory and Heimdall blocked his path. Loki's shaking hands curled into fists. He was ready for this. He had enough magic for one last major spell.

"You are a long way from the castle, Loki," Heimdall noted.

Loki kept his face blank. Heimdall knew why he was here, but that didn't mean that he was going to stop Loki.

The words formed in his mind as he raised his hands to perform the spell. Heimdall did nothing to stop him. It was a temporary freezing spell, enough for Loki to open the Bifrost and leave Asgard for good.

Loki took the sword from Heimdall's hands and walked inside the observatory. It was heavier than he remembered. His entire body shook as he opened the Bifrost. Loki did not know where he was going to go. He did not even glance where the Bifrost would take him and he didn't care. He wanted to leave this place. He heard the sound of guards marching towards him and the sound of hooves.

Loki only had enough time to see Odin on Sleipnir before the Bifrost took him. His world became blurred and dark. Loki did not see Odin attempt to close the Bifrost only to fail.

He wondered if Thor would forgive him.

…

**In a completely different universe…**

Sleep. All I could think about was sleep.

I decided this was the last time I agreed to take my parents to Galveston at two in the frickin morning. Are you wondering why I, a young Mexican American woman, was driving a dark lonely road across two cities in the middle of the night? Well wonder no more. It was my parent's fault. Dad had won a raffle for a two month vacation and cruise in the Bahamas and Mexico. Mom worried about leaving me in charge of the house for two months especially since my brother was in another part of the world. It took both my father and I to convince her that I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I was an adult for Pete's sake! I could survive to months without my parents. Besides, my dad pointed out, the neighbor's will be there in case I did run into some trouble.

That, my friends, is why I am driving a dark deserted road to Houston from Galveston. At every turn I kept expecting to come across some monster like those urban legends Gabriel kept teasing me about. Gabriel is my aforementioned brother who is currently in Afghanistan with the troops. I missed him and I haven't seen him in over a year.

I focused on the road in front of me. The faster I got home, the faster I could fall asleep on my bed. Thunder boomed overhead and clouds began to form in the sky adding to the already pitch black darkness. I passed a better lit area of the road and looked up at the sky. It didn't look like any storm I've seen. The clouds were circling, forming a dark vortex. I frowned in confusion. A tornado? In this part of Texas? As I got ready to turn the car around because I did _not_ want to die by weird tornado, a bright beam of light appeared. The wind had picked up and it was a wonder the car hadn't been blown away.

And then everything was dark and silent.

My heartbeat had accelerated until all I could hear was pounding in my ears. My knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel too tightly from fear.

I was alive. I survived the crazy weird tornado that was not supposed to here! I cheered for joy and focused on the road in front of me. As my headlights turned to face forward again, my heart skipped a beat.

Someone was lying in the middle of the street. An alien? An unfortunate person caught in the whirlwind? I wondered if I should just drive past. I'm sure someone else could take care of whoever it was…I mean it wasn't my problem. I didn't know it. What if it was an alien bent on destroying the earth?

_Or maybe, just maybe it's someone who needs your help. It could die if you leave it out there. What about the Feds? Do you know what they could do to him? Do you want to live with that guilt?_

I banged my head against the steering wheel and cursed. No I couldn't live with the guilt. I just hoped it wasn't an alien or a psycho.

"Please don't be an alien," I muttered as I got out of the car and walked over to the figure.

I looked around looking for anyone else that could deal with this. No one. I grumbled and kept praying whoever it was didn't eat humans.

It was human or at least it looked human. He, if his form was anything to go off of, was lying face down so I couldn't identify him. I knelt down and placed my hand on his shoulder. He didn't move.

"Hey," I said, shaking him gently, "Hey Mister."

He still didn't move. I also couldn't shake off the feeling that I had seen his clothing before, but I didn't know where. Maybe I did know him.

I turned him over on his back, which was surprisingly easy. The man didn't seem to weigh anything. I moved his hair out of his face to get a good look at him and…

"Oh. My. _God_."

Loki. I was looking at the unconscious face of the God of Mischief. He seemed bonier than I imagined. His face was pale and gaunt. I could see his cheekbones stand out sharply. He didn't seem to have eaten at all and then I knew why. Black string crisscrossed his lips and kept them shut. Small beads of blood trickled down his chin from his lips. He couldn't eat even if he wanted to. Indignation and fury filled me as one word formed in my head. Why?

Why would anyone do this? Surely there must have been a more suitable punishment? My hand hovered over his lips, but I didn't touch him. He was breathing heavily as if he had been running. Running from what? Thor? Odin? Danger?

I didn't know, but I did know that the poor guy needed help. I tried to lift him up, but found it impossible since he was at least a foot taller than I was and still heavy. Dragging it is then. As I lifted Loki into my car, I felt him stir. My heart beat faster, but he didn't wake up. Once I made sure that he was lying down on the seat comfortably without risk off rolling over, I climbed into the driver's seat and resumed my journey. It was then that I began to question my actions.

What if it wasn't Loki? What if it was a shape shifting alien who posed as Loki and hoped that a passing human would take him in so that he could learn about our weaknesses and take over the earth? What if it was Loki and he tried to take over the world or decided to destroy it? What if he was working with the Chitauri who somehow managed to open a portal that looked exactly like the Bifrost and into a world were superheroes didn't exist and therefore would not be a threat?

I looked back into the backseats. He didn't even look like he had the energy to move much less take over the planet. As I arrived in Houston and followed the familiar road home, I wondered if I should take Loki to a hospital. Surely they could deal with him. Then I wondered the entire buzz that would start. Loki wouldn't want to be the target of social media not to mention the awkward situation it would place Tom Hiddleston in when he hears about Loki. Then the feds would take him and claim he's dangerous because have you not seen the Avengers and Thor?

I was greeted by my dog's excited barking when I entered my small street. There were exactly nine houses in the street. Four on one side, five on the other. It was small and quiet. Mom had refused to move out of the neighborhood because she liked it here. I opened the gates before I drove inside.

Loki had still not woken up. I wondered if he had died, but his quiet breathing said otherwise. I looked around, hoping none of the neighbors were looking out their window before I dragged Loki out of the car. Ace sniffed Loki curiously as I did my best to not harm him as I dragged him up our four concrete steps. I placed my arm under his arms to hold him up before I opened the door. Ace bolted inside, but I didn't have the breath to call him back.

Summoning my remaining strength, I heaved Loki into the largest couch, thankful that it was close by. I made sure Loki was as comfortable as I could before I went to the bathroom. Ace wagged his tail, eager for attention, but I didn't indulge him. I rummaged through my mom's sewing supplies until I found what I was looking for: a small pair of scissors. I also took a small hand towel and filled a bowl with water, just in case I needed it. I placed these on the floor where Loki was.

"Rubbing alcohol," I snapped my fingers and returned to the bathroom.

I grabbed the bottle and returned to Loki's side. I was thankful he hadn't woken up and thankful as well that my mom had insisted I learn how to sew. I wet the towel and began to wipe away the dried blood from Loki's mouth.

"Let's hope we don't give him a Joker smile," I tell Ace who is watching besides me.

I lift the scissors and position of the blades by the string and bite my lip.

_Snip!_

The black string breaks. I work my way towards the rest until I have cut up.

Now for the next part.

Slowly I grab hold of the string and pull it out gently. A vague image of a surgeon comes to my head, but I push it aside. I need to concentrate. I hold his lips down as I pull out the small pieces of string. Blood comes out, but it's expected. I check his mouth for any more pieces that I may have forgotten. I don't find any, but what I do learn is that Loki seems to heal fairly quickly. As I clean the blood for him lips, I notice the small wounds closing until they are replaced by new pink skin.

Ace watches Loki curiously as I pour the slightly red water down the drain and throw away the string. The towel I place in the basket for dirty clothes. When I come back to the living room, the German shepherd had somehow gotten his snout underneath Loki's hand, but the god didn't seem to notice and if he did, he was doing a pretty good job of it. I decided that Loki would probably get cold especially since the house got extremely cold at night. I went to my room and pulled out the first blanket I found and took my own. I placed the red blanket over Loki's body and tucked him in as best I could.

I was tucking in the Lord of Lies. My inner fangirl squealed and I checked one more thing on my list of things to do before I died.

I slept on our other, slightly smaller couch. I didn't feel like going to my bed. This way, I reasoned, I would be there when Loki awoke.

But right now…

Sleep. I wanted to regain my lost hours of sleep.


	2. Guests

The first thing Loki realized when he woke up was that something was draped over his body. The second he realized were his lips. They felt raw and lighter. He could_ move_ them. He brought a long finger to his lips. They were no longer sewn shut. He felt lighter with this new thought. Was this what freedom felt like? And then there was the third thing that Loki was aware of. Something wet and cold was touching his fingers.

A dog. Green eyes widened in wonder and surprise as he saw the creature wag its tail in excitement when it noticed he had woken up. It nuzzled his hand eager for attention. Loki lifted his hand slowly and let it fall on the dog's head. He rubbed the dog's head, allowing himself to smile a little.

Loki surveyed his surroundings once he sat up. He was in a small room, well small for him. It seemed to be a typical Midgardian home if his knowledge was anything to go off of. So he was in Midgard. He wondered how many people knew he was here or where exactly on Midgard he was. It didn't look like New Mexico. In fact if the Midgardian's backyard was any clue, it was the opposite of New Mexico or New York City for that matter.

The demigod examined the material he had been covered with. The mortal that brought him here took great pains to bring him to their home. A thought occurred to him as he absent mindedly pet the dog. Perhaps his not brother's mortal had found him. It seemed perfectly reasonable. Perhaps the mortal had changed locations and just happened to find him. If she had found him, then perhaps his brother knew as well.

He didn't know whether to be relieved or worried. If Thor knew then Odin knew. Then why had they not taken him back? Did they not care enough about him to look for him? Or was this some new punishment from Odin?

Loki didn't have to think long when he heard soft footsteps. The dog turned its head and bounded towards the hall eager to greet the newcomer. A mortal girl. Loki watched as the girl knelt down and vigorously rubbed the dog's head. No. Not Thor's mortal or that ridiculous intern that tagged along. The mortal had far darker hair than Foster and darker skin.

A complete stranger.

…

He was looking this way. Oh dear god he was looking at me.

Come on Jenny say something intelligent!

"Hi…"

Intelligent, Jenny! Not stupid! He's a god for Pete's sake. Oh lord…chill Jenny. Deep breaths. Deep breaths Jenny you can do this.

"How are you feeling?"

Could be better.

He hadn't answered me. Could he even talk? What if he couldn't talk? Oh great, now you're just making him feel bad because he can't talk and you're expecting him to. Just go to the kitchen and ask if he's hungry. If he shakes his head or says no, feed him anyway. Poor guy looks like he needs some good food.

At least he hasn't tried to kill me yet. That was something at least.

"I was just going to cook breakfast," I said pointing to the kitchen I was walking towards.

Don't trip. Don't stutter. Don't trip. Don't stutter.

If the guy hadn't eaten in a long time and you're feeding him now, then you'll just make him vomit, at least based on assumption. GAH! I'll just give him alphabet soup. It's easy. It's simple and I'm starving. If the guy throws up after just tasting it I'll call an ambulance and pretend he's my cousin or something…as if they'll believe that.

I heard something move behind me. Turning I realized it was only Loki. Should the guy even be standing up? I watched as he tried to steady himself, but look away when he glared at me. Fine then. I focused on the soup instead. I'll probably end up making more than necessary, but I'll eat it if Loki doesn't. I took out some sausage I was saving for some hotdogs and began to chop them into smaller pieces before placing them into the pot.

"I hope you're hungry," I tell him as I stir the pasta, "Because I don't think I'm going to finish this and as much as Ace loves people food, it's bad for him."

He was by already by the cooler that Dad kept next to the stove for easy access. He was watching me cook. His eyes were watching me stir the small alphabets in the water. The bastard was probably criticizing my cooking.

"My mom's a way better cook," I say, "Unfortunately she's on her way to the Bahamas."

I frowned. Why was I even talking to Loki? I sneak a look at him. The God of Mischief is still focused on my soup. I wondered if the poor guy was dying of hunger.

"It's almost done," I tell him as I prepare two bowls.

He still didn't say anything. He just looked at me like he couldn't believe I was non-chalantly speaking and feeding him. Nervousness brings out my confident side I guess. Fortunately the soup was done quickly. Now all I had to do was avoid awkward breakfast conversations.

"Guests first," I tell him motioning to the soup.

He declines and motions for me to go first with a smile. He probably thinks its poisoned or something. Oh well. His loss.

I take the spoon and start scooping soup in my bowl. I stir it to get the good parts until I am satisfied. Loki watches me eat for a moment. I guess he was satisfied I didn't keel over and die because he took the remaining bowl and poured himself soup. He sat by the table like a good gentleman. I applauded Frigga for raising her sons to be gentlemen especially Loki. I could easily imagine myself as a vampire's perky companion. He sat with such poise and elegance that I found myself wanting to draw his portrait. I imagined him as a rich lord or something just like it.

He looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. His spoon was raised to his lips, but they weren't touching. Oh god I hoped I remembered this when I got hold of my sketchbook. Just look down Jenny and not a word. Not a word.

I focus on the soup. It tasted much better than I anticipated. Maybe I was getting better, or maybe I'm just too tired to differentiate between a good or bad taste. Loki seemed to enjoy it, but he could just be being polite. He hasn't thrown up yet so I guess I either picked the right food or I was just wrong and he had been eating but not enough. Maybe it was Thor who was feeding him. I wouldn't put it past Thor especially since I knew the guy was way more stubborn than Loki.

I was just about done when there was a knock on the door. Ace began barking, but quieted down with a stern shush from me. I really hoped it wasn't the Feds. Maybe they tracked me down and would demand I hand over Loki. I looked through the curtains and held back an excited squeal.

I nearly tripped over Ace as I ran to open the door.

"Cris!" I shrieked as I hugged my blue haired friend.

"Jenny!" She shouts with equal vigor.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her.

Cris had gone to England to visit some cousins. I wasn't expecting her to be back so early. Cris's full name was Cristine Abilene Cambridge and her dad was pretty rich. Cris just happened to be one of those rebel kids. We met by chance and now we ended up being best friends.

"I kinda ran into a little problem," Cris said looking back at her car.

"Same," I tell her thinking of Loki.

Where is he anyway? I poke my head into the kitchen. He's eating, but eavesdropping as well.

"Can I come in?" she asks.

"Yes. But" I block her path to get her undivided attention, "You have to promise not to scream and you can't tell anyone about this."

Cris nods, "promise, but you also have to promise the same with me."

I watch as Cris turns and motions towards her car. The door opens and a tall white man steps out. He looks vaguely familiar, but he's wearing sunglasses, cargo jeans and a muscle shirt so I couldn't really identify him. The guy was also ripped. I could see his muscles and… were those abs?

"Who's this?" I ask her, "A cousin? And more importantly is he taken?"

Cris shakes her head and ushers us in, "I'll tell you once we get ins- Oh. My. Norse Gods."

Both Cris and Loki have locked eyes with each other. Loki raised himself to his full height. He seemed to be daring Cris to attack or something. Then he froze when the man that Cris came with entered the kitchen. Muscles froze as well. He took off the sunglasses and baseball cap he was wearing.

"Thor?!"

"Brother?"

Loki looked like he was going to be sick.


End file.
